Saturday, March 10, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Ultimate Breakfast
These days I'm totally into the fresh green drinking coconut--it is the original ideal breakfast.
Phase One: Just got up, feeling sick and grouchy, last thing I want to think about is food. No problem! Grab a drinking coconut from the fridge, slice the top off, and pop in a straw. It's subtle, nourishing, refreshing, like breast milk for grown-ups.
Phase Two: Feeling better, got my strength up, but still upset to be awake: ready to beat someone's head open with a hammer, which is exactly what comes next. Take that, coconut!
Phase Three: What with all that smashing I've worked up a real appetite, and what could be more satisfying than a delicious fresh coconut?
See? It's the perfect breakfast experience.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Dirty Dancing
So Christine's watching Dirty Dancing on TV. Well, if you've always wondered what the deal is with all that "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" stuff but you've never actually watched the movie or bothered looking it up or anything, it turns out her name is Baby.
Not sure why it is nobody puts her in a corner, though. It's not a very good movie.
*** UPDATE: 2 March 2012 ***
Okay, according to Christine, it's Patrick Swayze who's all like "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." Apparently Baby and her family are sitting at a table in the corner, and Patrick Swayze comes over and he goes "Nobody puts Baby in a corner," and he pulls her out and they do their dance and that's it. So actually, it's all a dispute over the seating arrangement.
See, I had always assumed that "putting Baby in a corner" was some kind of really filthy dance move and that it was Baby's father who was objecting to it. Like, e.g.:
[Patrick Swayze and Baby are dancing together. It's completely dirty, like, dirtier than you could possibly imagine. Think of the dirtiest dancing you've ever seen and then multiply it by fifty. It's that dirty.]
PATRICK SWAYZE: Baby, I totally sweat you, you're so burning up the dance floor right now.
BABY: Oh, Patrick Swayze, this dirty dance we're doing right now illustrates my undying love for you.
PATRICK SWAYZE: I...I think it's time now, Baby. I've been waiting so long, but it's finally time for me to put you in a corner.
BABY: Yes! Yes, Patrick Swayze. Put me in a corner! Do it now!
BABY'S FATHER: [coming in the door horrified] Hey, NOBODY puts Baby in a corner!
PATRICK SWAYZE: Wait, why are you calling me "Patrick Swayze"? Shouldn't you be using the name of my character?
BABY: Either I can't remember what your character's name is or I never heard it, not sure. Also, I don't know the name of the actress who played me, though I'm pretty sure she also played Ferris' sister in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
PATRICK SWAYZE: Now that was a good movie.
BABY: I don't know. In retrospect it kind of reeks suburban white male privilege. I mean, why should kids like Ferris just cruise through life on charisma and affluence? Should we really be celebrating that?
BABY'S FATHER: I concede the force of your objection, Baby, but it was still a pretty sweet movie anyway, not like this piece of shit.
Not sure why it is nobody puts her in a corner, though. It's not a very good movie.
*** UPDATE: 2 March 2012 ***
Okay, according to Christine, it's Patrick Swayze who's all like "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." Apparently Baby and her family are sitting at a table in the corner, and Patrick Swayze comes over and he goes "Nobody puts Baby in a corner," and he pulls her out and they do their dance and that's it. So actually, it's all a dispute over the seating arrangement.
See, I had always assumed that "putting Baby in a corner" was some kind of really filthy dance move and that it was Baby's father who was objecting to it. Like, e.g.:
[Patrick Swayze and Baby are dancing together. It's completely dirty, like, dirtier than you could possibly imagine. Think of the dirtiest dancing you've ever seen and then multiply it by fifty. It's that dirty.]
PATRICK SWAYZE: Baby, I totally sweat you, you're so burning up the dance floor right now.
BABY: Oh, Patrick Swayze, this dirty dance we're doing right now illustrates my undying love for you.
PATRICK SWAYZE: I...I think it's time now, Baby. I've been waiting so long, but it's finally time for me to put you in a corner.
BABY: Yes! Yes, Patrick Swayze. Put me in a corner! Do it now!
BABY'S FATHER: [coming in the door horrified] Hey, NOBODY puts Baby in a corner!
PATRICK SWAYZE: Wait, why are you calling me "Patrick Swayze"? Shouldn't you be using the name of my character?
BABY: Either I can't remember what your character's name is or I never heard it, not sure. Also, I don't know the name of the actress who played me, though I'm pretty sure she also played Ferris' sister in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
PATRICK SWAYZE: Now that was a good movie.
BABY: I don't know. In retrospect it kind of reeks suburban white male privilege. I mean, why should kids like Ferris just cruise through life on charisma and affluence? Should we really be celebrating that?
BABY'S FATHER: I concede the force of your objection, Baby, but it was still a pretty sweet movie anyway, not like this piece of shit.
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